Dark Stranger, The Dream. That’s the book. I look at the book cover and shake my head at it cause the dude on it, supposedly representing the ‘dark stranger’ doesn’t look so dark to me. They put a full beard with long hair, brunette, and call that ‘dark.’ I feel offended. That does not say ‘dark’ to me. He just looks like a dude with long hair and a beard. Sometimes it’s really hard for me not to get all self-righteous about these romance book covers. Never liked them when I was a kid and I still don’t like them now. Well at least some of them. They are getting better, though.
Yes, I said “kid.” I started early reading the romances. Not cause I was alone in my room pinning away after some guy. No, I did that while I was at school where I can get a look at him. I enjoyed romance novels because they were emotional. I love the story of feelings. I was and still am all about the feels. Historical fiction started it all. They were emotional stories of immigrant families making their way to America to build a familial empire. While everyone else was watching Dynasty and Falcon’s Crest, I was reading my Danielle Steel, Johanna Lindsey, and some other author who wrote about European Jews coming to America.
I really loved those! I was hooked on the European Jews for a long time. Their stories of hardship then triumph fascinated me. The information in those books made me love history. I barely passed it in school. My teachers didn’t talk about it the way these books did. Perhaps I should have guided my teacher to teach it the way I was learning it from these books. How did I get here, talking about historical fiction?
Right! Romance books with funky covers.
I think they shouldn’t put people on them. Just have inanimate objects to represent whatever is going on in the book. Or, if it is a must to have a body on the cover, then do not show faces or bodies in cheesy positions. When I first started reading these books, I would compare the description of the characters inside to what was on the outside. What a horribly disappointing experience for my anal brain! My experience did not carry me away into fantasy land. I stayed stuck in “that’s not what he/she looks like on the cover” and “he/she doesn’t look like he/she would do that.” I kept flipping to the cover whenever the author would describe a facial expression during a scene.
I drove myself crazy!
I would spend over an hour at the library just picking out a book. There had to be a perfect balance between front cover, book synopsis, and thickness of the book and hard cover versus paperback.
Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t I tell you about the stick I had up my mind’s ass? It’s called BORING! No Fun Fanny. It used to be the size and thickness of bamboo; now it’s been whittled down to a switch from a baby birch.
The transformation process has been and still is, The Oldest Man shuffle walk down a long path.
Extraction is still incomplete.
I’m getting there…
*The Oldest Man is a Tim Conway character portrayal featured on The Carol Burnett Variety Show.