She sat staring at the door, waiting.
Resolution weighting her to the chair as she visits the kaleidoscope of butterflies pulsating in solar plexus. Looking around the room, checking for any forgotten placements, she noted this to be the last time she would see it with these eyes again.
Change. She is about to be changed.
Good change. She knows this to be a “Good and wonderful change”, she says on exhale, out loud.
“Right. Wonderful and exciting change.”
She takes another deep breath and exhales yet again.
“FUCK!”, her exclamation barely above a whisper.
Her nerves are vibrating and the anticipation is growing, spilling out of her pores. Looking down at herself, she checks to make sure she’s looking as desired. Raising her arms, she smells her pits to make sure her nerves are not causing a stink.
Everything is good.
Just then, she hears the door and gets up from where she’s seated to stand as calm as she can, where she can be seen right away.
He walks through the door to the sight of her and catches his breath. He slowly places the key card on the counter and stands there, staring.
They have both planned for this moment and have joked about how it would be.
None of that is happening right now.
None of that matters.
She breaks their connection and walks away into the area with the bed. She felt his slight hurt and puzzlement at her movement but continues with what she’s doing.
After turning on their song, the song which picked them up from where they were standing still in their lives, carrying them towards each other, carrying them to this now moment, she senses him right behind her.
She turns to meet up with his body, toe to toe with hers.
No words pass between them once more. They stand there breathing in each other’s exhalations until as though on cue, their breath becomes one, synchronized to the beat of the music, causing them to draw even closer together.
Finally she reaches out and takes his hands in her own. She places them on her center, her solar plexus flutters alive, kaleidoscope disturbed once more, and says,
“Help me die tonight. Kill me, then bring me to life again”
He squeezes her abdomen in acknowledgment of what she is asking of him, awareness of her offering vibrating throughout his entire being.
“Am I so worthy?” he thinks.
And to answer his unspoken question, she cradles her hands on either side of his face and draws him in slow, for their very first kiss.