ONCE THERE WAS YOU

The following poem is about, good-bye and for, someone who I experienced unconditional love for and with.

We lost contact with each other years ago and I did not get a chance to say goodbye or see you later (whichever the case may be).

I still carry my experience of him in my heart and mind, as he was, is, very special to me. But in light of the journey I am on now, I have to completely let go and say my farewells, as I am walking through the door of another chapter.

I am on the verge of meeting my mate for the remainder of this lifetime. I have done a lot of work to get to this place in my journey.

The experience of this person has kept me hopeful of what is to come. But now it is time that I move on from him to embrace another.

I say thank you, my love and I hope you are either in the mist of experiencing all you wanted for yourself or are about to.

I will love you always.

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I wrote a poem about you once.

It had beauty and lust and magic in it.

I loved that poem.

I loved you when I wrote that poem.

I love you as I write this poem.

What happened to that poem?

I threw it away.

I need to purge my womb of you.

The place where my creation was growing and living and being nurtured by my love for you.

I needed to purge my womb.

I needed to abort the life created with and by my love of you, for you,

Because its twin was not there.

Its twin wasn’t given a chance to grow and develop.

It wasn’t nurtured and fed.

I didn’t even acknowledged its existence.

I took all that which I had and gave to you and the life I created in my womb

And left none for myself.

That life I created with all that love energy was strong and vibrant.

But the life which was first created before that one, was depleted and neglected.

I was depleted and neglected.

That first life was me.

I needed to abort that new life growing inside of me because I was dying

As it was living.

I wrote a poem about you once.

It talked about prayer and you being the answer.

It talked about love and you being the answer.

It talked about connection beyond this reality and imagination and you being the answer.

Yes, I saw all of this in you.

I thought all of that was you.

We were two incomplete souls connected by our deficit

And our desire to be more..

For ourselves.

I gave all that love and created all that life for you

And for me to experience it

Eventually

Through the experience of you.

But as it turned out,

You were not the answers to that prayer.

In the poem I wrote about you once.

You were the gateway, the path of unconditional love which led me to the answer.

The love I had for you gave me a taste of the sweetest dessert of which I am partaking of now

Me.

I was the answer.

The connection to self, the reconnection to the one which created me is what help me to create once again.

A new life.

A new creation.

In my belly, in my womb, in my soul.

Me as I am now.

My awakening to myself and the endless supply of that love which I so freely gave to you.

Thank you for receiving it.

Thank you for desiring to reciprocate it.

Thank you for letting me go to grow with it..

And create with it.

I have two breathing, living flesh beings created with that love which started with you.

Although you were not the co-creator of my boy and girl,

You were the initiator.

You planted the seed.

I am writing a poem about you.

Again.

This is my “thank you” to you for choosing to share your journey, however brief, with me.

I hope to see you again.

To experience you again.

My love.

For I still have a reservoir of love in my womb and in my Spirit for you.

Even though I am on a new journey to experience that force of love again with someone new,

Although we did not create life together,

I will always have

A poem to write about you.

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